FAQ

What is Adoptees Connect?

Adoptees Connect is a peer-led, adoptee-centric connect group for adult adoptees. This group is designed to be a “safe space” for adult adoptees to gather and share their experiences, tough times, & hopes for the future.

What does “peer-led” mean? 

What this means is that we are a self-run, self-help group of adult adoptees who gather together to share common bonds regarding our adoption experiences. At Adoptees Connect, we want this small group to be a home to everyone. We want everyone to feel welcome and to participate. We want all adoptees to feel comfortable to jump in and claim a space of their own where they would like to help out in regards to leading the group. We consider ourselves “peer-led” because we ALL lead the group- TOGETHER. There is no one person supervising each group and each group is independent.

Can a support person come with us?

Unfortunately not. A support person will not be able to attend as we are considered an adoptee-only group. However, we would love to meet your friends and family at one of our many open friends & family events.

Can those from foster care who were never adopted attend Adoptees Connect?

Unfortunately, not. We don’t believe Adoptees Connect would be a safe space for unadopted foster children by mere virtue of the fact that because they were never adopted. This has a deep potential to be triggering to them. But we do recommend that group facilitators gather a list of recommended possible resources to help point them in the right direction. .

Are Adoptees the most qualified in the adoption triangle?

At Adoptees Connect, we believe adoptees hold the most valuable experience in adoption.

Does Adoptees Connect cost money?

Adoptees Connect does not cost money and is always free of charge. We might take up an offering on occasion to offset any charges we might incur but this will be on a case-by-case basis.

Why would I want to create & facilitate an Adoptees Connect in my city?

No one can tell you to do this aside from yourself. You must have the need and desire to create this safe space not only for yourself, but for those in your community who are adopted too. It will come with many rewards, but a lot of sacrifice and hard work. You can do it!

Are Adoptee Connect Groups like group therapy?

Absolutely not. We aren’t even close to therapy and shouldn’t be considered a substitute for therapy.

Who can benefit from an Adoptees Connect Group?

Any adult adoptee who wants to give our group a chance. Barriers come down when we feel understood, validated, and listened to.And this only happens when we share common experiences of having been adopted.

How do I create an Adoptees Connect  Group?

Any adult adoptee who has the heart and the passion to make the commitment to facilitate and guide this group. We have a Volunteer Application After your application has been determined, you will decide how often your group will want to meet, who will facilitate it, and the time and place the meetings will take place. See (Insert Link Here) for more details.

 

Are these groups confidential?

Yes, Adoptee Connect  Groups are confidential. The only exception is when someone poses a threat to themselves or others. As outlined in our  Group Guidelines, what is shared in the group stays in the group. Of course we can’t always promise that attendees will follow this guideline, but we always encourage attendees to be cautious of what they share. If someone breaks confidentiality and it is brought to our attention, we will kindly remind the group of our guidelines or take any other action necessary

Why is Adoptees Connect “adoptees-only?

Adoptees Connect is an adoptee-centric connect support? group and we put adoptees FIRST. We feel that because adoptees have no safe space to share how it feels to be adopted, we needed to make a change by creating our own safe space. Many of us have spent our entire lives being invalidated by non-adoptees. We’ve found when non-adoptees are present, it creates an added risk for adoptees to be re-traumatized and invalidated once again. To keep this the safest space possible for our fellow adoptees, we have incorporated “adoptees only” as part of our Group Guidelines. This is not subject to change or negotiation. It just is.

Why can’t adoptive parents & birth parents come? Can’t they learn from us?

There are a multitude of resources for adoptive parents & birth parents where they can go and receive support and connection. On the other hand, there are no adoptee-only connect groups. In order to keep this a safe space for adoptees, we need it to remain entirely adoptee-centric.  Yes, they can learn from us, but we’ve had a huge burden placed on us just by being born. Many adoptees aren’t in the position to teach adoptive parents and birth parents how we feel. Many of us simply feel that’s not our job and consider that a burden on top of the burden many of us feel inherently. It’s just too much for many of us and can be triggering. Again, there are online groups and other groups in our various cities they can go toThis is not one of those groups.

Is Adoptees Connect a religious group?

No, Adoptees Connect is not a religious group nor are we affiliated with any religious organization. We encourage all attendees to share freely if they have specific beliefs that have been a source of light for them. We respect each person and their views, But we refrain from pushing our beliefs on others as well as turning away an adoptee for their beliefs. ALL ADOPTEES ARE WELCOME HERE no matter what religion they are or aren’t.

Can I share responsibilities with others in the group?

Absolutely, this is why we are peer-led! We would like everyone to get involved. If you would like to volunteer for an area, please let your group facilitator know.

Is there a helpline I can call if I have questions about starting my own group?

No, there is no helpline for Adoptees Connect. I’m one little person and my time is very limited but I will do my best to answer any questions you have regarding Adoptees Connect. I do ask that you read over the website to see if your question isn’t answered there first. If you don’t find the answer to your question, please leave it below. I will get back to you in 10-14 days max, hopefully much sooner.  

 

Who’s in charge of promoting the group?

We are. Everyone who attends will be a wonderful promoter. We need you!

What if I have a special gift or skill and I would like to use it for Adoptees Connect?

We value you and you are needed! Contact your group facilitator to find out where you can use your gifts.

What if my story isn’t a happy story, can I still come to Adoptees Connect?

All adoptees are welcome at Adoptees Connect. You don’t need a happy story to attend. We want you exactly for who  you are,story and all. You matter and your story matters. We want to hear your story and be there to support you along the way.

What topics will we talk about?

One thing for certain is that we will never run out of things to discuss or talk about. Here are a few topics of conversation.

• Common issues for adoptees
• Adoptee Relationships
• OBC’S
• Search & Reunion
• Books, Articles, Poems, Blogs
• Adoption Related Movies
• Current Events of Adoption
• Adoption Activities, Events & Conferences
• Trauma & Adoption
• LDA’s – Late Discovery Adoptee
• Identity & Adoption
• Adoptees & Addiction
• Mirroring
• Self-Love & How we view ourselves
• Abandonment & Rejection
• Grief & Loss
• C-PTSD
• Talking to friends & family about adoption

Can we meet for fun activities aside from our normal meeting time?

Yes! We encourage this at Adoptees Connect. We encourage you all to get together with friends, spouses, children and coordinate fun activities together. Anything from bowling, dinner, movies or a meetup in the park. We want to make connections and build our own communities with those who speak our language. We want to incorporate those close to us by having a fun activity at least once a month so they can see who we are meeting with and who our adoptee family has become.

Can my husband, wife or support person come join me at Adoptees Connect?

Unfortunately, in order to keep this a safe space you must be an adoptee. No exceptions.

Do I have to share in the group?

Absolutely not. We will never put you on the spot and want you to be comfortable in sharing when the time is right for you. Feel free to come and observe to get comfortable with the group. When you feel like sharing, you will know it. If we are moving in a rotation in a circle and you don’t want to share, simply say “pass”.

 

 Help Support the Growth of our Growing Network!

Adoptees Connect Inc. is an IRS approved 501(c)(3) public charity. Donations to Adoptees Connect are tax deductible as allowed by law. Please consult your tax advisor regarding deductibility. EIN: 83-1862971. Thank you for your generosity in helping our vision move forward.