FAQ

 

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What Is Adoptees Connect?

Adoptees Connect is a peer-led adoptee centric support group for Adult Adoptees. This group is designed to be a “safe space” for Adult Adoptees to gather and share their experiences, tough times & hopes.

What Does Peer-Led mean? 

What this means is we are a self-help group of Adult Adoptees who gather together to share common experiences regarding our adoption experiences. At Adoptees Connect we want this small group to be home to everyone. We want everyone to feel welcome and participate. We want all adoptees to feel comfortable to jump in and claim a space of where they would like to help out in regards to leading the group. This is “peer led” because we will all be leading the group- TOGETHER. There is no one supervising each group and each group is independent.

Can a support person come with us?

Unfortunately, not. A support person won’t be able to attend however we would love to meet your friends and family at events that we hold where they are open events.

Can those from foster care who were never adopted attend Adoptees Connect?

Unfortunately, not. Adoptees Connect wouldn’t be a safe space for them because they were never adopted. This has a potential to be triggering to them but we do recommend group facilitators to gather a list of recommended possible support groups for those situations that might fit their needs better.

Are Adoptees the most qualified in adoption?

At Adoptees Connect we believe Adoptees hold the most valuable experience in adoption.

Does Adoptees Connect cost money?

Adoptees Connect does not cost money and is always free of charge. We might take up an offering on occasion to offset any charges we might incur but this will be a case by case basis.

Why would I want to create & facilitate an Adoptees Connect in my city?

No one can tell you to do this aside from yourself. You must have the need and desire to create this safe space not only for yourself, but for those in your community who are adopted. It will come with many rewards, but a lot of sacrifice and hard work. You can do it!

Is Adoptees Connect Support Group like group therapy?

Absolutely not. We aren’t even close to therapy, and shouldn’t be considered a substitute for therapy. None the less you could find our group therapeutic in many ways.

Who Can Benefit from An Adoptees Connect Support Group?

Any Adult Adoptee who wants to give our group a chance. Barriers come down when we feel understood, validated and listened too and this happens when we share common experiences of having been adopted.

How Do I Create an Adoptees Connect Support Group?

Any Adult Adoptee who has a heart and passion to make the commitment to facilitate and guide this group. After this is determined, you will decide how often your group will want to meet, who will facilitate it, and the time and place the meetings will take place. See (Insert Link Here) for more details.

Are these groups confidential?

Yes, Adoptees Connect Support Groups are confidential. The only exception is when someone threatens to injure themselves or others. As one of our small group guidelines what is shared in the group stays in the group. Of course, we can’t always promise attendees follow this guideline, meaning we always encourage attendees to be cautious of what they share. If someone breaks confidentiality and its brought to our attention we will kindly remind the group of our guidelines.

Why is Adoptees Connect Adoptees Only?

Adoptees Connect is an adoptee centric support group and we put adoptees FIRST. We feel because adoptees have no safe space to share how it feels to be adopted we needed to make a change and create this safe space. Many of us have spent our entire lives being invalidated by non-adoptees. We’ve found when non-adoptees are present it creates an added risk for adoptees to be re-traumatized and invalidated once again. To keep this the safest space possible for our fellow adoptees we have incorporated adoptees only as part of our group guidelines. This is not subject to change or negotiated. It just is.

Why Can’t Adoptive Parents & Birth Parents Come? Can’t They Learn From Us?

There are plenty of groups in the area for Adoptive Parents & Birth Parents can go receive support. On the other hand, there are no adoptee only support groups in the city. In order to keep this a safe space for adoptees, we need it to remain an all adoptee support group.  Yes, they can learn from us but we’ve had a huge burden placed on us just from being born. Many adoptees aren’t in the position to teach Adoptive Parents and Birth Parents how we feel. Many of us simply feel that’s not our job and consider that a burden on top of the burden many of us feel. It’s just too much for many of us and can be triggering. Again, there are online groups and other groups in our city they can go. This is not one of those groups.

Is Adoptees Connect a religious group?

No, Adoptees Connect is not a religious group nor are we a part of any religious organization. We encourage all attendees to share freely if they have specific beliefs that have been a source of light for them. We respect each person and their views, but we refrain from pushing our beliefs on others as well as turning away an adoptee for their beliefs. ALL ADOPTEES ARE WELCOME HERE no matter what religion they are or aren’t.

Can I share Responsibilities with others in the group?

Absolutely, this is why we are peer-led. We would like everyone to get involved. If you would like to volunteer for an area, please let your group facilitator know.

Is there a helpline I can call if I have questions starting my own group?

No, there is no helpline for Adoptees Connect. I’m one little person and my time is very limited but I will do my best to answer any questions you all have regarding Adoptees Connect. I do ask you read over the website to see if your question is there first. If you don’t find the answer to your question please leave it below. I will get back to you in 10-14 days max, hopefully much sooner.  

Who’s in charge of promoting the group?

We are. Everyone who attends would be a wonderful promoter. We need you!

What if I have a special gift or skill and I would like to use it for Adoptees Connect?

We value you and you are needed! Contact your group facilitator to find out where you can use your gifts.

What if my story isn’t a happy story, can I still come to Adoptees Connect?

All adoptees are welcome at adoptees connect. You don’t need a happy story to attend. We want you exactly how you are story and all. You matter and your story matters. We want to hear about your story and to support you along the way.

What topics will we talk about?

One thing for certain is we will never run out of things to discuss or talk about. Here are a few topics of conversation.

  • Common issues for adoptees
  • Adoptee Relationships
  • OBC’S
  • Search & Reunion
  • Books, Articles, Poems, Blogs
  • Adoption Related Movies
  • Current Events of Adoption
  • Adoption Activities, Events & Conferences
  • Trauma & Adoption
  • LDA’s – Late Discovery Adoptee
  • Identity & Adoption
  • Adoptees & Addiction
  • Mirroring
  • Self-Love & How we view ourselves
  • Abandonment & Rejection
  • Grief & Loss
  • C-PTSD
  • Talking to friends & family about adoption

 

Can we meet for fun activities aside from our normal meeting time?

Yes! We encourage this at Adoptees Connect. We encourage you all to get together with friends, spouses, children and coordinate fun activities together. Anything from bowling, dinner, movies or meet in the park. We want to make connections and build our own communities with those who speak our language. We want to incorporate those close to us by having a fun activity at least once a month so they can see who we are meeting with and who our adoptee family is.

Can my husband, wife or support person come join me at Adoptees Connect?

Unfortunately, in order to keep this a safe space you must be an adoptee. No exceptions.

Do I have to share in the group?

Absolutely not. We will never put you on the spot and want you to be comfortable in sharing when the time is right for you. Feel free to come and observe to get comfortable with the group. When you feel like sharing you will know it. If we are moving in a rotation in a circle, if you don’t want to share simply say “pass”.

If you have a question and I haven’t covered it here, please leave a message below. I will respond 10-14 days, hopefully sooner.