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We Aren’t Waiting on Change to Happen, We’re Making Change Happen

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Adoptees Connect Small Groups are growing! This is so exciting to watch this happen right before our eyes. We’ve got Adoptees Connect in multiple states and a formed CANADA Group is merging soon! We will update our “Group Locations” list soon.

Being an Adult Adoptee, I can remember all the way back to my younger days and how WONDERFUL an all adoptee support group would have been for me.  I’ve been a broken, hurting, lost adoptee all my life. I’ve always felt alone in feeling the way I’ve felt, until I started connecting with my fellow adoptees online. I still somewhat feel “alone” but it’s more of a “aloneness” in real life, until my Adoptees Connect Small Group Started- It’s changed everything for me.

I used to get comfort online, and reassurance and validation that the way I’ve always felt is normal considering the circumstances I’ve experienced. These same circumstances many of us have experienced. My online “Adoptee Tribe” has been a God send for me, for many of us. I am always thankful for them.

There’s a different level of connection when you meet in real life, then one we find online. It’s a deeper connection, a real-life connection that can’t be duplicated or imitated. Just to be able to HUG my fellow adoptees in real life is HUGE. We’re real, we’re alive and we can see one another’s faces when we share our hearts. We can cry with one another when the other is crying or celebrate when we have things to celebrate. It’s different and my hope and prayer is that every adoptee alive gets to experience this “Safe Space”

I’ve had it on my heart to start an ALL Adoptee Support Group for years in my community. Things have stood in the way of me putting ACTION behind this vision until November 2017, everything changed for me. I was recently navigating a reunion with biological family members, the death of my adoptive mom, and the death of a man who I thought was my new found biological brother, only to find out after years of building a relationship via DNA testing he wasn’t my brother at all. All of this happened in a 6 months period. I was devastated on all fronts. I had no help. No one who understood. No one to talk to about this. I went into a deep depression, but during this period is when it was put on my heart that NOW IS THE TIME.

NOW IS THE TIME TO PUT ACTION BEHIND STARTING AN ALL ADOPTEE SUPPORT GROUP. I learned by my own experience that I can sit around and wait on someone else to do this, to form a group and start one. That’s what I’d been doing for that last 6-7 years and it never happened. OR I could start to take my pain and hurt and turn it into something positive. I couldn’t help but wonder how many adoptees are hurting and broken in my area, in my city who are in a dark place like I was. I knew they had to be out there. I knew that I had to step up and make this change or it would never happen.

I’ve heard other people say they’ve thought about starting a group, but for this or that reason they haven’t done it. That was so me for so many years. I do believe someone’s heart has to be in it, or it will be a burden more than a blessing. For me, it’s easy to make this commitment because it’s something so desperately needed in my community, in all our communities.

My feelings are this is life and death for adoptees. Back in the 40’s, 50’s, & 60’s it’s said that those involved in adoptions weren’t familiar with all the issues adoptees might have but now society is starting to learn more by adoptees coming forward and speaking their truth. It’s up to each of us to DO SOMETHING not only for ourselves, but for future generations of adoptees to help them have a “Safe Space” to share their hearts about how it feels to be adopted.

2018 is going to be the year of CHANGE for Adoptees all over the world. We aren’t waiting on change to happen, we’re making change happen.

If you are interested in starting an Adoptees Connect Support Group in your city visit the “Starting A Group” tab on the website! We would love to have you on board!

Love & Shalom,

Pamela Karanova |  Adoptees Connect

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